Maximizing Our Well-Being in Times of Stress

A message from our Student Services Department

By Adrienne Frank, M.S.W., t.s.

Although we are almost two years into this pandemic, we don’t have it all figured out. Humans are considered easily adaptable, but nothing about the implications of a pandemic are conducive to adaptability. To not embrace one another, to not have the support from our children’s grandparents and extended family, to not be able to celebrate milestones together, and for some of us – to have our livelihoods challenged. Not only have we seen drastic changes, but these changes keep changing! How do we continue to adapt? There is no perfect science, but what we can do is to provide ourselves and our children with protective factors in order to maximize well-being. Sometimes, we just want someone to tell us what to do. I hope to offer you some tangible tools and strategies to bring to your families.

Consistency

At a time when everything keeps changing, it is vital that children have as much consistency as possible. With familiarity and a sense of normalcy, children have an increased chance of coping successfully. As much as you can, maintain routines: wake up time and bedtime, morning and nighttime routines, daily routines; including meal times, personal hygiene regimens, homework time, and family time. Lastly, screen time (E.g.: TV, iPad, cell phone) is okay! However, setting time limits and boundaries surrounding screen time will help your child know what to expect in a time when there is so much unknown. Pro tip: keep your devices in an open family area so you could supervise more easily, and keep your child’s device outside of their bedrooms before bedtime so they are less tempted to be on it all night, and this also encourages proper sleep patterns.

Self-care

We always hear that we have to practice self-care, but it is not always that simple. Between drop-offs, pick-ups, errands, appointments, careers, and more, it feels impossible. Our kids are in school all day, then there’s homework, dinner, activities, and hopefully a proper bedtime. When do we all get “me time”? First, relieve yourself from that mom/dad guilt. You will be a better parent by taking care of yourself too. Remember – the oxygen mask goes on the adult first! Call the babysitter, enlist the support of your co-parent, and take some time for yourself. Pro tip: involve your children in your self-care activities sometimes; they will learn the importance of self-care firsthand! Let them do the workout with you, plan a spa day, or set them up with a soothing bath.

Managing stress and anxiety

When all else fails and we fall into a state of stress and anxiety, what do we do? At any age, we should constantly be developing our own set of healthy coping skills that work for us as individuals. What works for one may not work for another; it is not One Size Fits All. Try some out: yoga, meditation, listen to music, take a walk, take a long shower/bath, journal, vent to family/friends, therapy, read a book, watch your favourite show/movie, progressive muscle relaxation, the five senses exercise, mindfulness, light candles, exercise, go to sleep earlier/take a nap, breathing exercises, cook, set healthy boundaries, and many more. Just when you think something might not work for you, you’d be surprised - I lit my first scented candle last month and it completely changed my mood! Pro tip: focus your mind and your child’s mind on things you can control, rather than the things you cannot. Stress and anxiety often stem from the unknown, and worrying about what could possibly happen. Reroute your thoughts in order to best prepare yourself for the things we are in fact able to change ourselves.

As always, your Student Services Department at SSA is readily available to help.

Resources

Your family doctor/your child’s pediatrician

Your local CLSC

Info-Santé: 811

Social and Community Services in Quebec: 211

AMI-Québec: 514-486-1448

Canadian Mental Health Association: 514-521-4993

Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645

Suicide Action Montreal: 1-866-277-3553

Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868

If you need immediate assistance, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital